Black, White and Shades of Grey
by Fact Vs Fiction
Summary: Tohru takes on the Sohma's problems without any complaint but what happens when a certain Sohma hopes to pay her back in kind? Just what kindsof secrets could Tohru be hiding?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: My first fruba fic!! I'm reasonably new to the world. I've seen the Anime but I'm yet to read the Manga. This is a Tohru/Haru fic meaning it is AU!!**

**On with the story!!**

**Black, White and Shades of Grey.**

The ox approached the young woman cautiously. Tohru Honda was sitting beneath a huge willow tree. Two streams of liquid crystals streamed down her cheeks and the ox was certain she was unaware of his presence. She would never allow anyone she her cry, much less a Sohma. She was after all, their strength.

The ox mentally rolled his eyes at his thoughts. The Sohma's put too much pressure on Tohru Honda, he'd always said it but was never heard. So he resigned himself to keeping his distance from the orphan, she didn't need yet another burden.

Now though he found himself torn between keeping that distance or comforting his cousins saviour. He glanced her way again and sighed. He couldn't leave her in such a state. Pushing the willows weeping tendrils from his path he made his presence known.

Tohru let out a small gasp and quickly wiped her eyes which tracked the ox's path as he silently sat down beside her. He said nothing, just looked at her with unreadable grey eyes."Is Hatsuharu-San okay?" she asked managing a smile.

"I think that might be my question." said the ox calmly. Tohru just gaped at him. She was at a complete loss when it came to the ox of the zodiac. Haru had always seemed to hold her at arms length in comparison to his cousins. He was quiet and reserved but she was quite certain he didn't dislike her. Hiro disliked her but Haru was never cruel to her like Hiro...

She pondered what she did know about the ox. She knew he had directional problems... and that he was considered stupid by the Sohmas because he was the ox and she knew he had a split personality... but that was about it...

She glanced his way again only to have her eyes caught by the serene grey ones. "Well. Are you going to tell me why you're crying?" She wiped her eyes self conciously.

"N-no" she shook her head. " It's nothing Haru-san, really!" she pleaded.

"It looks like alot of nothing to me. Tell me." It was an order but a kind one and Tohru found herself almost willing."

" I can't. Tohru-san must not burden Haru-san with her problems..."

"I'm asking Tohru-san. You listen to my cousins I will listen to you. What have they done this time?"

"Oh n-nothing Haru-san, they haven't done anything." she said earnestly.

"Then why are you upset?" She remained silent, staring at the ground. "I can keep a secret, you know..."

"Haru-san won't tell the others?"

"Of course not."

She wiped her eye again and took a deep breath steeling herself. "I-in school tomorrow w-we have a science lesson i-involving c-colour and the e-eyes..." Haru nodded, knowing better than to vocally interrupt her now he finally had her talking. "W-we're testing our eyes..."

She stopped and looked at him hopelessly. "Tohru-san will feel better if she says her troubles." He said calmly.

She mumbled something incomprehensible and glanced at him knowing he hadn't heard. "I'm colourblind." she whispered, her eyes filling once more she looked away. Haru was shocked to see the self loathing in her sea blue eyes as she wiped away her tears angrily.

So this was the Tohru nobody saw. He mused silently. She was incredibly strong willed. But to have such a secret!

"How colourblind?" He knew she wouldn't appreciate pity. She looked so thankful.

"I see nothing but black,white and shades of grey."

"Who knows?"

"Just you."

He pulled in a deep breath. "Not even your grandfather?" Tohru shook her head,

She wondered just how much she should tell him. She swallowed. "It runs in Mother's family. Grandfather is on my Father's side." He just nodded.

"And tomorrow the whole school finds out" It was a statement, not a question. She nodded and they lapsed into a comfortable silence. They sat that way for quite a while until the unmistakable sounds of Shigure's voice could be heard in the distance.

Tohru rose to her feet. "Thank you, Hatsuharu-san." He nodded. "Can you find your way back?"

"I'll be fine, Try not to worry too much about tomorrow Tohru-san"

OoOoO

"Your turn Honda-san"

"Hai, Sensei." Tohru shook slightly as she rose to her feet. This was it... She held her head high as she walked to the top of the room. She would not be intimidated.

She stopped before Sensei and looked at the challenge before her. She'd been listening and already knew it was hopeless. She couldn't tell the colours from each other.

"When you're ready, Honda-san." Tohru nodded at her teacher and took a deep breath. The door was flung open just as she began to speak.

"Gomenasai Sensei." said Momiji-san. "Tohru-san is required in the nurses office right away!" The teacher looked concerned but nodded."

"A pity Honda-san but if you are required..."

"It is no problem Sensei." said Tohru with a bow. She follow the rabbit quickly from the room.

"Momiji-san whats the matter?!" asked Tohru, concerned.

"Haru-Kun is unwell Tohru-Chan! Momiji offered to sit with him but Momiji has to take a test. He asked for you instead. Tohru-kun I must return to class."

"Oh of course. I will look after Haru-san." Momiji nodded and bounced down the hall.

OoOoOo

"Haru-san?" called Tohru as she entered the nurses office. She spotted him on a bed. "Haru-san are you okay?" she asked worriedly. He gave her a small grin, eyeing the nurse carefully.

"I'm perfectly fine."

Shock registered on her face immediately as she realised what he'd done. She watched the nurse leave the room. "You aren't sick at all." He shook his head with a bigger smile. "Why?"

"Because it wasn't fair."

"B-but you're missing your test!"

"That was an added plus." he said simply.

"You did this for Tohru-san?" The shock in her voice was heartbreaking as Haru heard what she wasn't saying.

_But nobody does anything for Tohru-san..._

"I wanted to. It's your secret to tell."

"Thank you Haru-san." a smile blossomed on her face. She grabbed his hand, squeezing it softly. Neither commented when it wasn't released.

"No problem. You just get to sit here and be bored with me for the rest of the day."

OoOoOo

"Well! It looks like you're feeling better Sohma-san." said the nurse. It was coming towards the end of the day. Haru Nodded. "Well thats good. I'll tell you what. There's only 10 minutes left why don't you two leave early. Honda-san, you'll walk Sohma-san home just in case?"

"Oh hai."

"Okay, you can go then,"

"Thanks!"

oOoOoO

"Whats the matter Tohru-san?"

"O-oh its nothing Haru-san."

He just gave her a look that said try again.

"Well I was just wondering... why Haru-san never talked to me before..." She immediatly blushed. "Oh that was rude! forgive me!"

Haru just laughed at her. "No it wasn't." He sighed. " I guess... I'm just a quiet person and my family already puts you under enough strain without me. I don't want to be another burden on you. Too much is expected of you."

"Haru-san is not a burden. You helped me and i'm a quiet person too."

"I guess..." Tohru just took his hand happily. "I want to be Haru-sans friend too."

**A/N: Yay! first chapter! Review!!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Chapter 2!! yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!**

**Black, White and Shades of Grey.**

"Tohru-san!! Tohru-san!! where is my little flower Tohru-san!!" Shigure sang in a high pitched voice. The young woman ran down the stairs and appeared in front of him, notebook in one hand pen in the other.

"Hai Shigure-san is everything okay?"

Shigure sighed heavily and broke into pantomime tears. "Alas my dear flower it isn't!" More dramatic sobs. "My dear friend Hatori-san plans to steal my little house wife away from me!" He was interrupted by two simultaneous smacks on the head as Kyo and Yuki appeared.

"Just tell her what Hatori wants you damn dog!" said Kyo angrily.

"H-Hai" said the dog rising shakily. "Tohru-san Hatori-san and Haru-san's Mother is very ill and their little sister Sia has been left to their care. But Sia-chan is very young Tohru-san and neither of her brothers can hug her. Hatori-san was wondering if you could possibly stay with them until their Mother is better. If it isn't too much trouble that is..."

"Oh no! It's no trouble at all Shigure-san!! Hatori-san and Haru-san's Mother is ill?!"

"She han't been well for some time Tohru-san" said Yuki soothingly. "Why don't you go and pack?"

"Hai, Yuki-kun!"

OoOoOoOo

"Hatori-san?"

"Tohru-san" said Hatori with a tired smile opening the door wider. "Do come in."

She entered the house and looked around with interest. It was bigger than Shigure's at first glance but darker and the rooms more homely.

"How is your mother, Hatori-san?"

"She is very unwell Tohru-san. She has been since Sia-chan's birth unfortunately. Atop her physical illness the physiological implications of Sia-chan being a girl and normal have hit her hard." Tohru nodded, having known the Sohma's so long she understood immediately.

"So Sia-san is only a baby?"

"Shes 3 months old Tohru-san. You can understand why we believe she needs to be held..."

"Oh of course Hatori-san!" He nodded.

"I knew you would. That is why we asked you and not Kagura-san. We are sorry... to inconvenience you..."

"Oh Hatori-san it really is no problem!"

"Thank you, Tohru-san. There is just one other thing. Watch out for Haru-kun. He has been black alot since we took Sia-chan in, it hurts him to be unable to hold her and he is very upset." Tohru nodded. Poor Haru-san she thought sadly.

OoOoOoOo

There was a soft wail from the upper floor of the house and Hatori glanced at the celling. "You would like to meet her?" Tohru smiled. "Come with me."

"Ohhhhh Hatori-san she is beautiful." whispered Tohru in awe as she touched the small child's hand. Hatori smiled, brushing the tiny baby's cheek.

"You can pick her up if you want." Tohru lifted her carefully, settling her in her arms. She saw the pain flick across the dragons face.

"I'm sorry, Hatori-san..."

He smiled sadly. "It isn't your fault Tohru-san. Will you be okay with her if I show you where everything is?"

OoOoOoOo

Tohru felt the presence in the room and looked up from the crib. "Haru-san!"

"So you're the renforcements then? Figures..." he said dully.

"Haru-san, are you okay?"

"No! No i'm not okay!"

"Haru-san you shouldn't shout you'll wake her up..." Tohru trailed off.

"And then what! you'll stop scribbling in that stupid notebook you always have with you and you'll pick her up and cuddle and kiss her so she feels love because she doesn't think we CARE!" he shouted the last word and Tohru had seen the change to black Haru.

"Haru-san you'll wake her..."

"I DON'T CARE! IT ISN'T FAIR!!" The baby began to cry, loud frightened wails.

"Go on! pick.her.up." Haru dared her. "IT'S NOT FAIR! SHE'S MY SISTER.I CAN'T TOUCH HER! AND I CAN'T TOUCH MUM! I HAD TO BE BROUGHT UP BY HATORI BECAUSE MY FATHER CAN'T BARE TO LOOK AT ME AND SHE GETS ALL THE ATTENTION! IT'S NOT FAIR!!"

"LIFE ISN'T FAIR HATSUHARU SOHMA!" Tohru had had enough and rounded on him.

From the door Hatori watched slack jawed as the calm controlled Tohru Honda finally blew up and at black Haru of all the people...

"YOU ARE SCARING YOUR BABY SISTER WHO CAN'T HELP BEING FEMALE OR NORMAL! YOU ARE MAKING ME SHOUT AND I DON'T LIKE SHOUTING! NOW SIT DOWN AND GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!!"

Tohru turned around and scooped up the baby rocking her gently and breathing heavily. Hatori watched as Haru sunk into a chair heavily. Tohru had frightened him back to white Haru it was amazing... but she was scary when she was angry.

"Tohru-san..." said Haru softly.

"Ready to talk civilly?"

"Tohru-san I'm sorry... Please let me make it up to you..." Hatori watched unnoticed by the door. Tohru spun around but her face softened when she saw his defeated posture. Then she asked the most confusing question Hatori had ever heard.

"What is her colouring?" asked Tohru, turning away. She didn't see the guilt in Haru's face. "So I know... j-just in case Hatori-san asks..."

Haru rose and Hatori held his breath. He was definitely not meant to hear this. He wasn't meant to hear his brothers inner conflicts, he wasn't ever meant to know Tohru was capable of shouting or calming black Haru and he most certainly wasn't meant to hear that question. Haru joined her by the crib where she'd placed the now calm infant.

"Her hair is black b-but it shines blue in the light. Her lips...her lips are blood red and her eyes are g-golden like Dad's..."

Tohru nodded sadly. "Her skin?"

"It's cream, like Hatori-san's. Tohru-san do these colours mean anything to you...?" Tohru shook her head.

"I've never seen a colour." Hatori almost gasped at the simplicity of the statement. Tohru Honda was colourblind. Bright, colourful Tohru Honda. It seemed impossible... He was broken from his thoughts by Haru's voice.

"Red... Red is like heat. Its warm, it surrounds you. I'd imagine it would be like a hug... I dunno if that makes any sense to you..."

"It does, keep going, Whats blue like?"

"Blue can be the opposite to red. It can be cold, like winter. To me its calm... like being left alone with your thoughts... Blue is the sky and ocean, its freedom and fantasy..." She had her eyes closed but nodded.

"I like blue. Yellow?"

He laughed slightly."Yellow is the colour people associate with you. It's the happy colour, the fun colour. Its the one people associate with youth... Its also the friendship colour... It's like ice-cream on a hot day..."

She smiled happily. "Pink?"

"Pink is associated with girls. Its made from red and white together. It's like... The intensity of red with the innocence of white. It is an emotional colour. Its like cotton candy..."

He glanced at her. She was leaning against the crib, her eyes still closed. He couldn't help wonder what she was seeing in her mind. He couldn't imagine life without colour...

"Green is the earth colour. It's the colour of life. It can be fresh and clean or dark and rich. It's like the feel of grass sliding through your fingers,or the smell of fresh laundry...

"Orange."

"Its another bright, happy colour it's like the warmth of the sun on your face or holding hands with a friend. Its a caring colour but also the colour of fire, fire is uncontrollable and irrational. It's made from Red and yellow..."

Hatori swallowed hard. How long had she kept such a huge secret?. How long had Haru known?. How did she come to lack colour anyway?

"Purple is the colour of royalty. Its conflicting though, made from red and blue. Hot and cold. Its the colour of mystery. It's the colour associated with sleep and dreams. Purple is like the darkness with a full moon breaking it. Its hope..."

"Thank you Haru-san." she opened her eyes. "That was very helpful..." The undeniable sadness in her tone was heartbreaking. Hatori crept away silently.

OoOoOoOo

**A/N: Yep it's short but i'm working on the next chapter, promise!!(",)**

**Becca**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Woooooooooooooo! Chapter 3!!**

"Haru-san. Would you like to hold her?" Hatori's eyes stilled behind his newspaper as he heard Tohru-speak. He had to hand it to her, she tried everyday without fail, to make Haru acknowledge his baby sister.

"No" said Haru simply.

"Oh. Okay then..." Tohru knew better than to push it especially with Sia-chan and Hatori-san in the room. She turned her attention to baby again.

OoOoOoOo

Tohru entered the room silently. She could tell from the lighting that it was dark. She slowly approached the frail woman lying on the bed. "Sohma-san?"

The frail woman turned Grey eyes on her. "Hai... you are Tohru Honda-san?"

"Oh! Hai! Gomen I didn't think you knew me..."

The woman smiled tiredly. "Everyone involved in the curse knows you, Honda-san" she said weakly. "What can I do for you?"

"I just wanted to see how you are feeling. I felt I needed to meet you."

"Ah, you're caring for my daughter."

"Hai, Sohma-san" said Tohru with a bow. "I am honored to"

"You must think i'm a terrible mother." she said sadly.

"I think you're an upset mother but not a bad one." Sohma-san looked shocked. " I think you don't know what to do. I think. That you love your sons very much." She looked even more shocked.

"B-but I abandoned them!"

"I think you believe you will hurt them. By loving Sia-chan. I don't believe you're wrong."

"Oh?"

"It will hurt them. But I think not loving her will hurt them more. If you were to give up Sia-chan it would seem to them that you didn't love her and if you don't love her, well, you couldn't possibly love them."

"But I do!" she wailed.

"And I know that. But I don't think they do... and disowning Sia-chan won't help that. Only make it worse."

Sohma-san nodded. "Honda-san. Do you take care of my sons?"

Tohru was shocked by the question. "I guess I take care of Haru-san, or at least I try to but Haru-san can be difficult at times he is a very reserved person but-"

Sohma-san smiled at the younger woman's rambling. "He'll come, you know, when he thinks i'm asleep... He talks about you quite alot. You are a good influence, and a good friend, even if he does neglect to show it."

"Oh..!"

"I dare-say you're a good influence on me also." The older woman sighed. "But my boys could never accept me, I've been gone too long to be their mother.."

"It's never too late!" Tohru argued forcefully. "I ruined my mothers life, Sohma-san. She was younger than me when I was born. She had to quit school and her mother shamed her. She felt she couldn't love me and refused to until I was 5 and my father died. But after that she did and I accepted that even though she wasn't always there for me..."

Tohru smiled softly. "I think, that Hatori-san may be aware that on some level you must love him. Haru-san will be harder but you can do it, I know that, because children crave their parents no matter what age."

"Thank you."

Tohru blushed immediately. "Have a good day, Tohru-san, and I hope you'll come see me again." Tohru nodded earnestly and left the room.

Hatori-san leaned heavily against the other door and shook his head in amazement. She had been right about everything. Tohru Honda was truly a mystery to him and he was starting to believe that girl alot brighter than she was given credit for.

OoOoOoOo

Haru spotted the notebook abandoned in the chair. Oh how he wanted to read it. Tohru hardly ever let it out of her sight! He turned his back on it. That wasn't fair and he knew it. As he walked away black Haru screamed at him. one peak wouldn't hurt, would it?

What started as a peak became a reading session once Haru realised that what he was reading was infact a complex story. He frowned. Tohru couldn't write like this... it was far too advanced, she was nearly as bad as he at school. But he'd seen her write in it! he argued with himself and this was definitely her handwriting...

"Haru-san?" he slammed the book closed. "Haru-san is reading my notebook? But why would you do such a thing?" Haru met her eyes and was immediately sorry.They were full of sadness and disappointment. He hated doing that to her. Making her sad.

"Tohru-san i'm sorry!" he pleaded.

"But why would you do it?"she asked, confused. "I thought Haru-san was my friend!" she said, hurt.

"Tohru-san I didn't mean to it was just there and-"

"You shouldn't have read it." She said softly.

Dread overcame him as he felt the stirrings of black Haru. Oh god please he begged. Don't let me turn...

"Its just a stupid notebook." Tohru's eyes narrowed. Black Haru she thought.

"You shouldn't have been snooping."

"You shouldn't leave your things lying around then." He replied carelessly.

"That was private!" she said getting aggravated, black Haru always brought out the worst in her.

"Why! Because little Tohru's been keeping secrets?! Because shes smarter than everyone gives her credit for?!"

"Stoppit!"

"No" replied Haru in a bored voice."I don't think I will..."

"You're horrid Black Hatsuharu!"

"Why thank you.!"

"What do you want from me?" asked Tohru warily.

His mood swing was irrational.

"I want to know why you lie! I want to know why I feel I don't know the real Tohru Honda at all! I want to know why you're keeping secrets from me WHEN YOU KNOW I CAN KEEP YOUR SECRETS!"

"I can't tell you!"

"DAMNIT TOHRU WHY DO YOU WEAR A MASK!?"

"BECAUSE I HAVE TO!!"

He swung at her before his white half could stop him, his fist connecting with her face causing her head to snap around. She made no sound just looked him defiantly in the eyes.

"Get a hold of yourself." she said in a deadly calm voice.

She swept from the room without a backward glance leaving white Haru a crying heap on the floor.

OoOoOoOo

Tohru looked up two hours later. She was feeding Sia. Hatori had entered. She looked back at the baby.

"He's still sobbing, you know... What'd he do this time?" Tohru looked up and Hatori gasped at the huge purple bruise. "He didn't!" Tohru just went back to feeding the infant silently. Hatori just gaped in horror.

"Hes still crying?" asked Tohru after a while. Hatori nodded dumbly as Tohru rose she placed his sister carefully in his arms and left the room without a word. Hatori followed with Sia.

Tohru entered the kitchen and silently approached the sobbing ox. Dropping to her knees she placed a soft hand on his shoulder. He immediately curled up into a ball. With a sigh she pulled his head into her lap.

"I'm sorry!" he sobbed "I'm sorry I'm sorry i'm sorry..." he repeated over and over again.

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" she soothed gently. "I know" He clutched her skirt sobbing harder. She ran her hand through his hair. It was wet with tears. "Haru-chan you need to calm down. you'll make yourself sick..."

Hatori watched the girl work with his baby brother. The boy who had caused the huge bruise on her pretty features. She truly was selfless. He mused. And talented... Haru had only ever been like this once before. He was amazed by how close the girl must have gotten to his heart to cause such a reaction in his reserved brother.

"I'm sorry" he sobbed again. "I didn't mean to"

"I know, Haru-chan, I do. I forgive you..." she leaned forward and hugged him around the head. Hatori could feel his eyes tear at the reminder of such a similar scene. She was so like Kana...

She sat like that for well over an hour, cradling him. Hatori had long since left to give them a bit of privacy. The tears had stopped and Haru's breathing had eased to a steady beat. They just stayed there.

Never in his life had Haru been more torn up over not being able to hug someone than he was at that moment. Not when he was little and he longed for his mothers touch nor when he was at his lowest of lows. He felt like he was dying to hug Tohru Honda. He sniffled and she rested a soothing hand on his hair.

OoOoOoOo

It was Friday afternoon. The sun was shining and the birds were singing. Hatori had forced Haru into accompanying Tohru and Sia to the store and the trio were currently leaving the store. "Oh Haru-san its so lovely out!" Tohru gushed. "Lets go for a walk in the park!" she looked at him with pleading eyes. He couldn't say no to her.

"Oh alright" Tohru squealed and Sia giggled from the pram.

OoOoOoOo

An hour later Tohru had pulled a blanket from beneath the pram and the trio was sitting on it. Tohru had just given Sia her feed and she currently had one arm securing the baby who was terribly bouncy in the summer sunshine. Haru handed her an ice-cream and she smiled her thanks.

Haru watched with a soft smile as Tohru put a small amount of ice cream on her finger and offered it to Sia. The infants face scrunched with the cold but her looked turned to one of enjoyment. "Oh you like that do you?" asked Haru with a smile. Tohru kept her mouth shut and watched the interaction as Sia looked at him with wide eyes. She clapped, giggling. Tohru-chan has you spoiled you know. She has us all spoiled." Tohru watched with a contented smile as Haru coated his finger tip in ice cream and offered it to his baby sister. It was the first contact tohru had seen between the siblings. He grinned and tickled her tummy causing her to giggle madly.

OoOoOoOo

It was late that evening when the trio finally headed home. The sun was setting and the park was bathed in a warm orange light.

"I love sunsets." said Haru. More to himself than Tohru.

"I prefer sun rise." Said Tohru.

"Really" Haru wrinkled his nose. "Too early in the morning." He said simply. "Besides the colours are nicer at sunset."

"Are they?"

His stomach dropped.

"Oh Kami I forgot Tohru-san i'm so sorry that was horribly inconsiderate of me!"

"Its okay, Haru-Kun." She soothed gently. "I've lived with this my whole life. You can't miss what you've never had, can you?"

Her look told him she was looking for an answer. "I-I guess not..."

She nodded and looked at the sun. "I prefer sun rise because its new Haru-san. The light always banishes the darkness no matter how thick. Mom used to always say that everything looks better in the morning and I believe that."

"I guess i've never looked at it that way..." He mused. "The sun a sign of hope..."

"There is always hope Hatsuharu-Kun. We just have to look."

He took her free hand as the other guided the pram. He felt her squeeze his softly. "We'll have to do this more often." He nodded his agreement.

They walked home in the sunset hand in hand.

OoOoOoOo

**A/N: Chapter 3!! Yayyyyy I'm quite proud of the kitchen scene in this one!! **

**Tell me what you think!**

**Becca**


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